A shell for a home
slowly I walk to nowhere
no worry of time.
A deep deep breath in
filling lungs with air to live
peace and well-being.
The sweltering heat
oppresses with no mercy
yet I still move on.
I will not be silenced
told when to speak
Close your ears and hide if you must
for my words speak truths that
haunt you at night.
Everything I represent
exposes the lies that you embody
I shall never be silenced!
Shut me up
and my legacy
will ooze from my pores
and come to life
in another form.
Everything I am
fuels the jealousy inside
you can’t hide
from your own worthlessness
simply because you refuse
to see your own worth
and elevate yourself
to mountain peek.
Don’t blame me for your misery
as truth hurts.
Do something about it
and change your world.
If not, you will be consumed
by your own inner darkness.
hit lights that bounce off
and stain windows
Can’t help but daydream about
Autumn- with it’s shades of
gold, green and yellow frills
that adorn her dress.
She dances to the beat of the wind
but if she keeps dancing
she will lose her energy
-naked and tired.
Preparing for her slumber for another
until the new year.
Help me to swim
I don’t want to drown
in a sea of lifelessness.
Can’t help but look at myself
and see the struggles I face
day to day…
It’s like a never ending cycle
of false hope and broken dreams
I keep reminding myself
that it will get better
I was never taught how to swim
watched everyone sinking around me
I have my head above water but I’m slowing sinking
Can’t help but feel as if it’s from my own
fear of what holding on to you would mean.
Would it means a life I am not use to?
Would it mean that I would lose the last bits of my life
even though I desperately want to throw it away?
Does anyone relate to this feeling?
A tug of war of what I should do and what I feel like doing.
A bubbling over of anger at life and at myself for being so unpredictable;
Never in my life had I felt the touch of happiness
it was always full of pain
I was hoping that now, I could feel that
but I’m stuck here
gazing at my fingers, wondering why they are still here.
Why is each and every finger still here?
Count to ten and let it all explode
one by one feeling each sorrowful memory
dissipate into nothingness.
When I feel like sinking
it’s because I look backwards
Emotions are obsolete in the world of faith.
It’s what we know…
Like I know I have ten fingers…
Knock on the door.
It opens and I see a mirror.
I look into it and see no reflection
so I throw it to the floor.
I close the door.
I walk to the end of the corridor.
I see a window.
I pull it open with all my might
but the sky is empty
pitch black and cold.
I slam the window shut.
I turn on my heel and run for the exit
but the door was bolted shut.
I fall to my knees
and all I can do is stare at my hands.
I hadn’t notice they were wrinkled and old.
The sound of time fills the air.
It echoes in the halls and bounces off walls
and slam into doors
and rattle hanging objects.
Each movement of time
Each moment of progression
and yet, I am still on my knees
counting my fingers to see if they were all still there.
They are still here.
Clouds will go away
Once you stop feeding them the rain
You feed laughter with joy
And you kill anger with kindness
There is a cycle for everything on this earth
Sometimes, there is a time for people to fall apart,
So that they can grow and become who they need to be.
A tug on each end, opposite directions
You realized you have outgrown a friend.
And nothing you both do can rewind broken time.
A screeching halt and your ears start to bleed
You don’t want to hear it…
That it’s time for the end…
But leaves must fall so new ones can be ready for spring….
A Psalm of Meari
My heart is screaming, oh Lord
I am afraid.
My enemies plot in secret
They hide their faces as they plan my demise.
They speak slanderous against me
they murder me with their tongue,
having no guilt in their heart.
They lay in wait for my folly,
to see my spirit weary is their prize.
I will put my trust in God,
He places within me a faith
that grows and blooms like flowers in spring time.
His hand is upon me and I am protected.
Just like Jerusalem a city without walls,
God is my fiery wall of protection.
If I keep my eyes on God,
He will not remove himself from me.
He will always protect those that love and honor him.
Above all, Jesus, my Christ
allow your Holy Spirit to enable me
to be more and more like you each day.
Help me to know your ways.
Help me to grow in the spirit and
produce godly actions with a pure and humble heart.
Let every hard trial be for my edification
and for glory unto your name,